My parents taught me to read when I was like 2 or 3 years old, and I went around the house trying to read the back of everything! This skill definitely helped me get through school easier, but it also brought some difficulty to my life as I got to middle school. I was made fun of for being smart… crazy, right? Kids can be so mean. I was called a teacher’s pet, and told that I thought I was better than everyone else, and that I making the rest of the class look bad. (I’m also really good at math, so that didn’t help either.) So what did I do?

I stopped reading.

I wanted to fit in with my classmates, so I stopped reading for fun and would only read the bare minimum to get through classes. I still made it through the rest of middle and high school with good grades, but looking back they could have been much better if I didn’t care what those jerks were saying about me. I tried to dumb myself down and honestly I wish I hadn’t.

It’s hard while you’re going through it, and maybe you’re going through something similar right now, but hold on. You can get through this, I promise. If you have a few good people who have your back, true friends and family who love you the way you are, you can make it through. My situation wasn’t the worst type of bullying out there and I was nervous to share this bit of my past because I know so many kids had it 1000x worse than I did. I know that it was a big deal to me at the time, and that’s what’s important. Don’t compare your story to someone else’s. You may think your situation isn’t important because someone else’s is worse, but if it’s a big deal to you in your life, then it’s important.

Once I stopped comparing myself and trying to fit in with the kids around me, I started going back to the things I loved to do. In college I met some of my best friends, and they all loved to read! I was so excited to be around people who actually had the same interests as me instead of a bunch of random people I didn’t have much in common with. We swapped books and talked about the stories we read, and it inspired me to start reading the way I did when I was little. College got harder and more stressful, and it caused me to stop reading for fun again. I did what I needed to for school, but that was it.

Not too long after I graduated, my dad took me to a bookstore and asked when was the last time I read a book for fun. It had been years! He was sad for me because he knew how much I loved to read when I was younger, and he bought me a new book to try and help me get back into it. It was Joanne Fluke’s Chocolate Chip Cookie Murder… of course I’d find the book that combined food and true crime! I was hooked again! I finished that one and started collecting every book in the series, filling up my bookshelf pretty quickly. I went back to books I read as a kid and re-read them. I downloaded the Kindle app so I could read while I was out. I got an Audible free trial so I could listen to books on my way to work. I became a full-fledged book nerd again, and I loved it.

Now I set a yearly goal of how many books I want to read, and I keep track of those that I’ve finished. I like the GoodReads app for tracking my start and finish dates, but I also keep a written list in my planner. Even though my love for reading was off and on throughout school, I’m glad that it’s back and I’m working on keeping it with me forever. If there’s something you love to do that other’s think is weird or nerdy, forget about them and do it anyways. If if makes you feel good and you’re not hurting anyone, that’s all that matters. I love to read, and I’m not afraid to admit that anymore 💜

So what are you currently reading? My goal for 2019 is to finish 25 books, and I’d love more book recommendations! If you’re a book nerd like me, follow me on Goodreads. I also have a Highlights tab on my Instagram that I update whenever I start reading something really good, so you can follow me there too @sharanas.jams. Happy reading!