I had the idea to share this after I made a couple mistakes at work recently. Simple things that were preventable but still caused more work for my department, which made me feel bad about myself afterwards. Impostor syndrome started creeping up and making my mind race with negative thoughts. [That’s the idea that you’re an impostor in your position, and everyone is going to figure out that you’re a fraud who doesn’t belong there.] I imagined everyone was pointing fingers at me and talking about my mistake, saying that I was the problem and I didn’t belong there, I wasn’t smart enough or capable enough to have that job. Obviously no one was saying any of those things, but your mind can really start to take things out of control pretty quickly.
Usually when you make a mistake, you’ll hear statements like “Don’t beat yourself up” or “Everyone makes mistakes, we’re human”. Honestly, those statements don’t help me (I’m not really sure if they help anyone) because I already know those things, and hearing it again doesn’t make me feel any better. When I got home, I started thinking of more constructive statements to think of and productive ways to react after making mistakes. Yes, we’re all human and we know mistakes are going to happen, but you can put systems in place to minimize them, and work to change your mindset when they happen. Here’s what I came up with:
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Acknowledge the mistake – Don’t play it off like it didn’t happen, and definitely don’t try to blame it on someone else (“they didn’t give me the right materials in the first place so it’s not my fault”, “no one taught me how to do that”, etc). I’ve definitely started to think those things initially after realizing my mistake, but I make a conscious effort to not act on them and to admit my role in the mistake
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Look back at the hard work you did to get to your position – It’s not a mistake that you’re in that position at work! You earned those degrees and clearly did well in your interview to get the job, you DESERVE to be there. Think back on how much you accomplished to get to that point, and the fact that it probably wasn’t a smooth process with zero mistakes made. Just because you made a mistake at work doesn’t mean YOU’RE the mistake at work.
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Remember your wins – Start to think about the times that you caught the mistakes of others! You’re not doing this to put them down, but to realize that you are smart enough and capable enough to do the job… and you do it so well, you can realize when something isn’t right
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Get a small win ASAP – Realizing you’ve made a mistake in one area can lead to a negative spiral that makes you feel like you can’t do ANYTHING right in life. Break that way of thinking by physically doing something to give yourself a win, even if it’s small and seems insignificant: fold up those shirts that have been sitting in the basket, wipe down one mirror with Windex, take out the trash. For me, doing something small where I can visibly see the result and progress I’ve made helps me feel that ‘win’ more and break that negative thinking
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Take a few deep breaths – I like to visualize that all those negative thoughts are swirling around in my head, and when I take deep breaths I’m blowing them out and away from me – sounds weird but I swear it works! I imagine that my mind is less cluttered afterwards and I can think more clearly and rationally, and that makes it easier to remember the good things I’ve done and that I’m not a complete failure
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Notice any tension in your body and do something to help it go away – The number one place I hold tension is in my jaw, but I usually don’t realize it until the next day when my face is sore. If you can take a minute to sit and listen to your body, figure out where you’re feeling that tension and stress, then you can focus on taking some action to help get rid of it.
-In your jaw/face? Try a facial roller or a facial massage with your hands
-In your shoulders/neck? Try a heating pad to melt the tension away
-In your whole body? Take a hot bath or shower and focus on relaxing your muscles
Again, visualize that stress actually melting away or disintegrating as you’re doing the action -
Put on music that pumps you up – Create a playlist of songs that make you feel good BEFORE you need it! Then when you’re having a bad day or feeling down, it’s ready to go and you don’t have to put in a lot of effort to listen to it
Once you’ve cleared most of the negative thoughts out of your head and you’re ready, try to find the root cause of your mistake and put systems in place so it doesn’t happen again.
Following written instructions? Cross off each step as you finish it so you don’t lose your place and do something out of order
Forget stuff too quickly? Keep sticky notes or a small notebook to write down to do’s immediately as you think of them so you can come back. My coworkers know if they need me to do something outside of my current task, I need it written on a sticky note and stuck to my computer monitor – that way it’s in my face and I can’t miss it! (Why make your brain do extra work to remember little things when you could just write it down and not worry about possibly forgetting it?)
Get distracted easily? Put on headphones to drown out background noise, ask coworkers not to distract you, move to a less distracting area if possible
Those are a few tangible techniques I’m going to work on implementing the next time I make a mistake- they’re much more helpful than just thinking “don’t beat yourself up”. If you have any techniques that help you move forward after making a mistake, I’d love for you to share them! Maybe your tips will help someone else in need 💜
